So... Here We Are.....

I finally have a few moments, so I thought I would write my first real blog post. My life has been ridiculously hectic. This week, I'm on a pseudo vacation, and I already don't know what to do with myself! So, I thought I would do this. It's interesting.... for as much as I talk and write, I somehow find myself lacking words. For once, I'm not really sure what to say?? Shocking, I know. So, I suppose I will simply write and see what happens. As my previous post suggests, my birthday was a couple of weeks ago. I turned 29, which was slightly more trumatic than I had anticipated. All of my friends keep telling me that my 30's will be so much better because being in your 20's suck. Okay.... I must concede to that. My 20's have definitley sucked ass. So, I hold out some hope for the future. We will see. I have less than a year to go. Over the past couple of months, I have decided to work towards embracing my eccentricities. My friends have always used "eccentric" and "quirky" as terms of endearment, so why not? The harder I fight my basic self, the worse I feel. Besides, it's my fate.Most of the women in my family are intelligent, eccentric, strong, opinionated, quirky ,etc. Of course, there are a couple of exceptions - but let's not discuss such unpleasantries. So, who cares? I don't. Perhaps it's because I'm almost 30....

See, with each passing year, I find myself changing in major ways. I wonder if it is me simply growing up, or am I rapidly catching up. Because of all the shit I went through as a child and adolescent, I missed out on a lot. Even as a young adult, I missed out on a lot of important milestones because I was reeling from the backlash of my formative years. Over the past 8 years, and the past 5 years in particular, I have made leaps and bounds. I have certainly taken steps back occassionally, but not nearly as many as I have made forward. It's really interesting... I've always been counter-culture, anti-authoritarian, bohemian yada yada yada. But now, I seem to be finding a balance in my life. At least working towards it....

I'm still my usual liberal self, but I find myself wanting more. Certain creature comforts. I've discovered that I love foam - pillows, mattresses, etc. And cotton. And my DVR... I know. I'm even thinking about kids and marriage! My career will always be very important to me and a huge part of my life, but now I think I would like a family. I've also been thinking about the type of person I would like to spend my life with. In case you did not know already, I identify myself as bisexual. However, I think I will probably end up with a man. That's where I am at the moment. Of course, that depends on me finding a decent man. I've never been attracted to "bad boys"... but they sure like me. I've been in enough shitty relationships to last 5 lifetimes. I don't need or want anymore. I want a honest to goodness "nice guy." Whoever I end up must be intelligent, compassionate, involved, successful, creative, and very funny w/ a sick sense of humor! Beyond that, I'm open. I haven't really dated for years. Nothing worth mentioning anyway. A few tristes here and there. But now, I think I'm ready to get into the game and put myself on the market, so to speak. Once I get settled wherever I land, I'll actually start saying yes.

Oh, so I'm going to move. Again. I think I need a change. It would only do me good. I want to finish some writing projects, and I haven't been able to really write in awhile. My sitcom has stalled for the time being, and I need to do some major revisions before it can move forward. One of my digital shorts seems to be moving forward, so I have to stay within a couple hours of NYC or LA. I'm grappling with which coast I want to be on. For those who know me, you probably know that I wasn't all that happy in LA. But I'm not sure I would have been too happy anywhere at that time. It was a strange time in my life. But career wise, I really can't complain. I will always prefer NYC and the East Coast in general. I love New England. But, I'm willing to consider other places. I've always wanted to move to London! It would be great to see family in the UK. But, despite my efforts, it is not an option at the moment. So, I really only have a few options. I can move to Southern CA, Las Vegas, or southern New England. Southern CA certainly offers the most opportunities for my career, but making friends is a definite challenge. I suspect I would face the same in Las Vegas. Obviously, I'm leaning towards New England. And that's probably where I will land. I may not have quite as many low budget film opportunities there, but I will be happier and meet more people like myself. And I can always catch a flight to LA, so I'm not too worried about it. The big roles cast on both coasts anyway. It's just the bit parts that I would miss out on. And I can make up for that with the projects that I write for myself. Eventually, I will permanently settle in NYC or London. I just need a short break.... anyone in the city who has struggled understands.

I have my overnight sleep study tomorrow night. I am finally able to get that done. It's only been prescribed to me for like 8 or 9 years. When I went in to see the doctors for the intake, they seemed very excited to see my results. Somewhat disconcerting, actually. They said because of my dream activity and so forth, that I may have some interesting brain wave activity. But with any hope, I may actually get a good night of sleep in the near future. Oh, that would be so nice. I'll let you know how it went!

So, anyway.... I think this post is quite long enough. I'm going to try to write at least a little every day. You never know what's going to happen with me.... so, check back!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.....

OK... so, I'm really slacking on this whole Blog thing. I just turned 29 on Saturday so cut me a lil' slack! Oy vey....

Not to fret! I shall return bearing gifts!